Confessions

I have a confession to make.

I wanted to be black...

(i'm white)

I tried to be something i'm not.

Like a high school girl caking on make-up

trying to look beautiful

even though she already is

she just doesn't know how to look in the mirror.

I didn't realize it

but it hurts to try to be someone else.

crushes my soul

like a grape.

let's make a deal.

I'll be me

if you'll be you

I thought perhaps i could pull off being black.

transform all this pasty whiteness into chocolate

like Marshall Mathers 

ya know, with the nicknames

rabbit

slim shady

m&m

but unlike me Eminem is black

Stop looking at skin color, racist!

Look past that.

Look at the person.

Into their Face.

Into their eyes.

Into their heart.

Into their soul.

on that level we're all the same

we're equal

Dreams

everybody has a dream

or at least they did.
some people's dreams are so far gone that they can't even find 'em.
like i can't find Waldo.

little kids have dreams.
Mommy i want to be an astronaut.


they taught us that we could be anything
now it's pay attention,
get rid of that distraction,
and one day you can become part of a corporation
who doesn't give a crap about your inspiration
they only want your perspiration

give in to the industry hype
become more machine-like
give up on our dreams right?

what gets us to give up?
is it that monster inside of us?
the one that whispers fear in my ear at night.
you can't do it.
what if you fail?
go get a safe job.
be a dentist

i hate dentist's
they smell diabolical
with all their whirring gizmo's and expensive pain inflicters
ugh

why can't i live my dreams?
when did it become popular to follow the public?
worry about all the industries i need to please and making money instead of making life worth living?

eff them.
we are all gonna die.
we're just tap dancing on land mine.

don't let your dreams be dreams
don't become another casualty of society.

Film Analysis

 Megamind
Ordinary World: In the ordinary world Megamind terrorizes the city of Metro City, Metro Man comes and stops him, he goes to prison, escapes, terrorizes the city again. you get the picture, he never wins and he doesn't get the girl.
The Call: When Megamind has a scheme to kill the invincible Metro Man and it works, it actually works. He kills Metro Man and now he has everything he ever wanted.... or does he?
Refusal: Megamind creates a superhero that turned evil, when the beautiful Roxanne Ritchi wants him to go stop the menace he created, he refuses and says he's going home. he goes back to prison.
Mentor: Megamind and Roxanne Ritchi are looking for information about Metro Man because the new "hero" that was created has the same powers as Metro Man. turns out Metro Man faked his death to become Music Man. Metro Man encourages Megamind to become good and stop the villain that he created.
Threshold: He escapes from prison again, and goes to stop Tighten (Titan) even though he believes he is going to die. 
Tests, Allies, Enemies: Megamind is the bad guy, always has been from the moment the inmates began to raise him he was a bad guy. his only friend is Minion, the fish that has been with him since birth, in the movie he leaves. "i'll just pack my thing and go." He has plenty of enemies, he's the bad guy, remember? everyone hates him. He goes through some intense boredom because there is no longer anyone capable of stopping him.
Approach: When Megamind decides that Tighten needs to be stopped. 
Ordeal: Megamind loves Roxanne Ritchi but she doesn't like him back.
Reward: Megamind gets a kiss from Roxanne Ritchi
The Road Back: He repairs the city from all of the damage caused by his and tightens battle.
Resurrection: Minion dies, but not really.
Return with Elixir: Megamind gets a statue of himself.

Ordinary World

Average.
My life is average. Wake up late, throw on what i wore yesterday. Go to school. eat. you know the routine. i've got it all, the sweet car, great house, awesome family, girlfriend, alright that last one was a lie, but really my life is pretty... ordinary.
I wake up in the morning wishing something has changed but it hasn't. my room is still a mess, my snowboard still sits in the corner next to my guitar. the guitar that sits in the case unplayed. however today seems different. today i'm sick of it all. today i swear i'm not doing anything. i don't go to school, i don't do my homework. i don't answer my phone. i play my guitar, each painfully sounding strum washes away the normality. i finally get to get in touch with my true power.

What would happen if i didn't pick up the guitar?
what would happen if i just continued on with life?
what if i was ok with the normal life?

Fly Away

This is for all the short people.

This is for the people who don't hear the music.

The depressed. The loveless

Fly Away

This one's for the people who keep forgetting to relax their forehead.

For the kid with the mixing bowl full of honeycomb playing call of duty at 3 in the morning

Fly Away

This is to the King who wants to be a Painter 

For the old fat guys who look like Santa.

For the Man who missed the birth of his first Kid.

For the Kid who's Dad was never there...

For the lovers and the fighters

For the hopeless and the hopeful

Fly Away

This is for the frightened and the fragile.

This is for the fallen

For the ones who can't seem to win at all

For the people who still crawl

For the people that still are still waiting by the phone.

This is for The Man

This is for your heavens and your hells

This one's for You

This one's for me

Fly away

 Fly away

Fly Away like you've never flown before. 

Sing like nobody will hear it

Paint like nobody will ever see it 

Write like nobody will ever read it

 Even though they will. 

They will hear you sing

They will see your creation

They will read your words

They will know you lived.

So go ahead,

Spread your wings

Learn to fly

Live, Laugh, Love.

Laugh like you'll never die, Cause you won't

Live like you are going to die, Cause you will

Love like you are dying, Cause you are

The only thing to fear is letting the wind leave your wings. 

Crashing back to earth                                                   

because 

                    you

                             let

                                          your 

                                                            dreams 

                                                                                slip

Do You See?

Tonight is not the last time I'll see the light.

I see the light like i see you, and you see me.

But do we really see one another?

You see what i show you, i see what you show me.

What you don't see is the pain.

The pain that lurks beneath the surface.

The pain of knowing that no matter how much I love her...

The feeling isn't mutual

Do you see the pain of MY problems?

The BIG ones sure, you could understand

If only i told you

Definitely not the small ones, 

The ones that matter only to me. 

Do you see me? 

Do you see what i love?

Do you see that I'm not doing what i love?

Do you see that i don't own myself?

Does anyone own themselves?

I keep forgetting to say,

I Love You

One of the million things i mean

Remains unspoken

When?

When will we own ourselves completely?

When will we wake up one day and sing hallelujah?

When will we see that it's not a victory march,

It's not a cry that you hear at night,

That it's not somebody who's seen the light?

It's a cold and broken.

Don't leave the light on,

I'm looking for the light inside myself.

Do i see that light inside myself?

Do i see that i can do it?

I believe in other people.

I believe that they can live their dream.

I believe they can have the girl of their dreams. 

their car, their house, their life.

Not me.

I Don't believe that I can paint,

I Don't believe I can sing.

As I compose this i don't believe i can write.

I don't believe in my own talent.

Do you see a meaning to happiness?

I could be Golden

I could BE somebody

I could have had my heart broken

I'm fragile

I could bow

I could let you break me

I could kneel at your feet.

I could live the life YOU want me to live

But i won't

Not this time

When What If Meets If Only

Green w/ Envy

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 



well i think that we are all in agreement that this poem you just read (i'm assuming you read it) was fantastic. maybe i like it so much because when i read it the voice in my head is Morgan Freeman's voice. i don't know how he manages it! he can make anything sound so epic. anyways the genius of the words written by William Ernest Henley (i had to look up his name) the words seem to strike a chord deep inside me. and i just want to go do something legendary.

i'm sick of this, leave me alone! Good Gandhi.

I'm so sick of the Hobo's always beggin' for change
I don't like how i gotta work,
and they just sit around and get paid.

I'm so sick of all the people who can't drive their cars,
B**** you'd better get out of the way before i start fallin' apart.

alright that was lyrics to a song, i don't hate the Hobo's. however people who can't drive their cars...

for real now

I'm sick of school (shocked?)
homeworkgirlsfriendshomeworkcarspaperspissymathteachershomeworkattendanceschooladministrationdramahomeworkpeoplecrammedintothehallsteenagedriversawkwardcoupleshomeworkcollegehomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomeworkhomework
i really hate homework

 I'm fed up with being told how to live my life.

                   Sit up straight                       Pay attention                   
    Do Your Homework 

              Listen to your teacher                      Cut your hair                                                

Go to class                               Get good grades                             Go to college

                                                                 Make Money

           Be nice                           Don't say that                          Eat your vegetable

     Stop fighting                                                                          Don't argue

                              Clean your room                        hang up your towel  

                                                           Respect your elders

Don't Speed

Wake Up                     Take your headphones out                  Stop talking

                      Shut Up

Answer Me

I'm sick of people telling me to act like an adult 

then they still treat me like a kid.

I'm sick of worrying.
why can't i just be like Bob Marley?
Don't worry, about a thing.
I wish everything would be alright.

I'm sick of people complaining,
about all of the bad things in the world,
instead of focusing on the good.

Where is the Love?

What is Love?

 What is Love?

love is the simple expression, 

letting people know that you would do anything for them.

a fathers unconditional love 

this is a man who truly loves his son and is 

willing to do anything for him

a mothers love for her child

the tender look in her facesays

that she would go to the end of the world for her child

a husbands love for his dying wife

this man would switch places with her

he wishes he could

a father's love for his child.

a man's love for his wife.

 

love is not simply a feeling. 

it's more.

love is an action.

love is the willingness to do anything,

just to ease their pain. 

love is an absence of hate,

and a surplus of caring.

One Liners

Quit Teasing Me.

Where we stop no-one knows.

Scared of the night.

These are the Worst of times,

These are the Best of times.

Make it alright.

Live & let live.

Pretty please.

You are perfect to me.

I gave you all i had.

I was 8 days old and still living at home, how sad is that?!

I want you on my team.

Wither and die! (Dwight Eisenhower)

Do you want to be a tv episode?

Smiling when I'm close to tears,

Small talk, hows the weather?

I'm outta control

Bring back paradise

I've got to much time on my hands

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

I've gotta change my own mind

I have all day to do it.

I'm not a criminal

I'm not in jail

It's ticking away with my sanity

I've got unresolved issues with my mother

The president

Here's the day you hoped would never come

Don't lose your head.

Sleeping pills, no sleeping.

The cold sweat of guilt.

Whoa...

Just textbook stuff,

The ABC's of growing up.

Don't kill yourself.

None of us are angels.

It's ok by me.

It was a long time ago.

Let me snap.

A boy and his guitar,

Never cared to make a dime.

It won't be long now.

That's what she said.

That was uncalled for.

I hate all of the hobo's.

 Tell me it's nice.

Life's been good to me so far.

Your lucky i'm sane.

Alone at the end of the evening.

The dreams i've seen lately keep turning out the same.

Take it to the limit one more time.

I can't find the door.

Nobody cares what you think.

Put me on a highway.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Down these halls that are far from empty. I walk alone...

I walk alone...

nobody walks beside me, my own shadow flees from my side. I see the carefree happiness of the teenagers around me, hoping... wishing... praying that some of that happiness will break through this shell of splintered Desires.

I walk alone...
I walk alone...

People press in around me, oblivious to my shattered dreams as we brush shoulders. moving through the motions of my life with lifeless quality.

one thought screaming in my head as i walk this avenue of wrecked Hopes.
I WALK ALONE
I WALK ALONE
I Walk Alone 
I Walk alone
i walk alone 
I am alone on this  Boulevard of Broken Dreams  

I'm thinking about You like, 

like sleepers think about sleep and 

Sleep thinks about dreams 

and my dreams think about You.

I'm thinking about You, yes, it's true.

I'm thinking about You like a kid thinks about toys,

and toys soldiers think about real soldiers 

and real soldiers think about kids.

I'm thinking about You like unbelievable,

like dancing thinks about rain, 

and rain thinks about rainbows, 

and rainbows think about Skittles 

I'm thinking about You like i can't even describe!

like the muffin man thinks of Drury lane,

like i think about muffins,

like muffins wish they were cupcakes but they're not because they are just too ugly

I'm thinking about food, HA no I'm thinking about You.

I'm thinking about You like crap thinks about country and rap

like music thinks about Mozart

and Mozart thinks about Bach

and Bach thinks about.. the organ?

I'm thinking about You like fat people think about diets!

like diets think about diet coke

like diet coke thinks about french fries

like the french think about the Eiffel tower

and the Eiffel tower thinks about lady liberty

and lady liberty thinks about being re-gifted to japan

like japan thinks about being Asian... 

wow that was racist

I'm thinking about You...and your mother

I'm thinking about You like mothers think about children

and headphones think about blaring

and rock thinks about roll

and hip-hop thinks about rap

and rap thinks about the blues

painters think about blues

and blues think about greens 

and greens think about reds

and reds think about yellows

and red yellow and green are Rastafarian colors

BOB MARLEY!!!

I'm thinking about You like chefs thinks about herbs and spices.

and herbs think about weeds 

and Bob Marley thinks about weed

gardeners think about weeds overtaking their garden

You are like a weed that has run rampant through my mind.

I can't get You out...

I like it that way

cause I'm thinking about You...

like like thinks about love

and love thinks about hate

I couldn't hate You

like I couldn't hate a puppy

I'm thinking about You like love doesn't think of time 

it just goes forever

today thinks about tomorrow 

tomorrow thinks about yesterday

I'm thinking about ...

Direct orders...

you are under direct orders to rock the f*** out. (that says flip)
rock out like a penguin that just escaped from the zoo
rock out like a freakin rock God.
rock out like a dead man.
 like you have cancer.
like you just got 100% on Freebird for guitar hero.
rock out like a Brazilian
rock out like you successfully slept in on Christmas morning
like you just picked up a hot date in your 1969 Camaro.
like you just stuck it to the man.
rock out like you own a small country.
rock out like an orphan.
like your mom just went food shopping and the fridge will once again have food
rock out like your lunch depends on it.
rock out like your poptarts just flew out of your toaster.
like an Italian man who just discovered taco's
rock out like Russian who found more vodka
like there's no tomorrow
like there's no today
like there's no yesterday
rock out like you found out you already did your homework
rock out like you graduated when people said you couldn't
rock out like you just hit The jump and lived
like you own a giraffe
rock out like you just found out that your still seventeen and you don't have to go to jail.
rock out like the enchilada's just came out of the oven
rock on

Why?

When you do something people ask why. why did you go to Cafe Rio? the answer would obviously be because i wanted a delicious fire grilled steak burrito with black beans and extra sweet sauce enchilada style. it's not always this easy to explain why. Why did you go to that party if you didn't want to? well because I, umm well my friends were going, so i just uh went. Why did you take creative writing? umm well i needed credit and i uh, wanted to? Why would you? Why did you? Why are you? WHO CARES?! don't listen to what other people think! who cares what they think? we all want to say that we don't care what other people think but everything we do say's otherwise. we do things for other people's approval. Why? Why do you care what other people think? because they are so important and close to you? Whatever you do, do it for you. if you want to become a hobo who lives in the Andes Mountains and eats bugs Do It! Do it for you.